Feb 10th: Going through the motion

Ever feel like you're somewhere and than you don't know where to go after that? well, that's how I feel. I am currently in a life that I'm just going through the motions in. I wish something would change besides me going to school, coming home, and than sleeping and than repeating the whole darn process over and over again five days a week and than me sitting on my butt on a computer the next two days after that with the exception of church. I wish that my life was well, like an adventure. Most lives aren't like that and I know this but the only thing is no one probably understands what it's like to feel trapped like this in one place with nothing to do and nowhere to go except study, study, study and than kill time on the computer. That's all fine and dandy for a little bit but after awhile it gets boring. There has to be some direction, a goal. When I was living before, just a couple weeks ago my goal was simple to graduate and get the heck out of here. Well either I lost the will to fight or I'm too tired to do it. My parents have taken the only person that could motivate me, oh sure my friends do motivate me too but it's not the same but than I get onto thinking was it love in the first place or was it to show that the kind of love was possible. Someone get me out of this dull life that always repeats itself because I can't deal with it, something has to happen I have to have a more interesting college life than this but until I can make that life for myself I guess all I'm gonna be doing is going through the motions.